Dealing with an Introvert Hangover

Yes, an introvert hangover is a real thing! It's not an official term, but it's a common description among introverts. Every kind of introvert can relate to that feeling. The idea might seem extreme to our extroverted friends, but it perfectly describes what we go through when we are beyond our socializing limit. The symptoms of an introvert hangover for me usually start in the form of shutting down. If I reach my limit of socializing for the day and am forced to continue in a social situation, my brain sort of freezes to taking in any new information. I start nodding and agreeing to everything to avoid small talk because I literally don't have the energy anymore to handle it. As a result, I will seem extra quiet to the people around me. When I get home, anxiety kicks in. So, I'm not only experiencing burnout, I'm analyzing every little thing I said and did, which is common with an empathetic/highly-sensitive introvert personality. At that point, I'm basically exhausted, anxious, emotional, and easily annoyed with no clear or logical reason why I feel that way. At my worst, there can even be physical pain or headaches—hence, the word hangover. Sometimes, it's described as an introvert burnout as well. It's not a pleasant feeling. Being an introvert has its challenges.

Depending on where you fall on the introvert spectrum, these symptoms can vary. Every introvert knows what their own limit is and they notice when their energy starts to fade. For example, my limit could be a few days, when someone who is more introverted than me could have a limit of just one outing. It's important to note that these feelings have absolutely nothing to do with the people we are with, whether it's family, friends, or acquaintances. The introvert dilemma is that we love people, yet at the same time crave alone time. You shouldn't feel guilty as an introvert if you reach that point; try to explain it to your loved ones and they will surely understand and give you some space when you need it.

What works for me is expectations, meaning I like to know beforehand the amount of time I will be spending outside in order to be mentally prepared somehow. I don't like surprises in that particular area, thanks to the J at the end of my personality type which is responsible for my preference of structure. Mental preparation doesn't always work for me, because life is not built that way, yet it helps with my anxiety when things don't go as planned. I do this mainly when it's people I don't know well. When it's someone/a group I'm close with, the fact is it doesn't take as much energy or effort (sometimes none at all) to be with them—one of the many contradictions of the INFJ! 

The only cure when you've already reached your limit? Solitude! Yes, some time alone will create wonders for an introvert social hangover. You are the only one who can tell how much time you need to re-energize because it differs from one introvert to another. Spending time with your thoughts reading a good book or meditating will get you back on track. So, take a look at your schedule and try to remove any non-essential plans. Spend some time doing something you really enjoy. Go to the movies solo or even plan a solo weekend trip! You'll get back feeling refreshed. You have to find out what works for you. Try to find out what your pattern is and schedule your alone time regularly to avoid the dreaded hangover. Good luck!

It's easy to focus on the downsides of being an introvert, there are 5 Strengths You Should Know about introverts. Check them out now. 

By: Amal Ghali