How to Overcome Perfectionism

Maybe you have always seen yourself as a perfectionist, and maybe not. Contrary to popular belief, most people cannot identify their own traits that characterize them as indeed perfectionists. The obvious reasons, such as being a highly-organized person, are not the main issue; check out these 5 Little-Known Signs of Perfectionism. 

Now that you can recognize the pattern, it's time to learn how to overcome your perfectionism. The key is to learn about some tricks and try to gradually incorporate them into your daily life. Eventually, they will become habits. Here are a few tips on how to overcome being a perfectionist:

1. Return to Earth

Perfectionism affects your thoughts and feelings, which naturally alters your behavior. It gives you permission to set insanely unrealistic standards for yourself and others, which makes you very critical (mostly of yourself). Your goal is to shift your mindset a bit and get back to reality. 

Start by consciously setting realistic targets and outcomes in every aspect of your life, and pat yourself on the back when you achieve them. When it comes to people around you, learn to recognize their positive outcomes and show them appreciation when they achieve something.

2. Embrace the Middle Ground

Everything is not black or white. Life doesn't work that way and you shouldn't either. It will be hard at first, so don't despair. Try to let go completely of the all-or-nothing principle because it's dragging you down. Do small exercises every day to train your brain to look at things differently. 

For example, whenever your thoughts try to take you into a direction of unsatisfaction with something because it's not quite the perfect outcome yet (probably never will be), force yourself to see things in a new light. Tell yourself that it doesn't have to be perfect. Motivate yourself enough to do the absolute best you can and know when to stop. So, find your middle ground. There is such a thing as a healthy perfectionist—someone who is a goal-oriented high-achiever.  

3. Know Who You Are Hurting

This is a tough one. Yet it is important for you to get back on track. Like every behavior, being aware of its effect is a crucial step in the right direction. With perfectionism, the one person who is constantly hurt by your actions is you. It's you who are always overthinking things and losing sleep over the tiniest of mistakes you made which only make you human. It's you who are always disappointed no matter what you take on and accomplish. High expectations are a killer. They can lead you to keep moving around throughout your whole life from one place to another, from one relationship to another, because nothing is ever good enough. And that's no way to live. 

It's not your fault that you are a perfectionist, most of us are anyway. We grew up inheriting thoughts and ideas from everyone around us that we need to be perfect at everything in order to succeed in life. We have to achieve the perfect grades, get into the perfect college, land the perfect job, have a perfect relationship, live in the perfect house—it never ends. And it couldn't be further from the truth. You have to break the cycle. It's up to you now to change your behavior and how you see things. I know I'm still trying.

By: Amal Ghali

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