Why Narcissists and Empaths Attract

Empaths are all too familiar with the need to help someone in pain and make them feel better no matter the cost, even if it means we put their needs above our own. It's who we are. Every empath will probably have crossed paths with a narcissist or a few in their lives. Most empaths will have even ended up in a relationship with a narcissistic personality. The phrase "opposites attract" is quite fitting when it comes to narcissists and empaths. They are infinitely drawn towards each other. If you think about it, an empathic person represents the perfect victim to someone with narcissistic tendencies. On the same level, it would be very hard for an empath to avoid falling in their traps.  

You have two extremely different personality types. Any relationship between them causes an endless amount of despair and emotional exhaustion, particularly to the empath. A common explanation for such a deadly attraction is simply because balance is required; it is believed such an attraction is nature's way of evening things out. On the other hand, from a more logical perspective, it seems that every attribute belonging to each of these personalities is highly appealing to the other person, maybe unconsciously so. A narcissist feeds on the empathic person's natural desire to help, which makes them the ideal target. Narcissists often abuse empaths into believing their kindness and compassion are in fact a weakness when in reality a narcissist's behavior stems from being weak. Any type of connection between these two personalities represents one of the most toxic psychological relationships that exist in this world. 

Narcissists are highly intelligent. They represent themselves in a myriad of ways. The way they act depends on the person in front of them. They know how to be charming and to the empaths, they talk about how they are the victims in their lives. While they appear over-the-top self-confident and arrogant most of the time, all of them are deeply wounded people. Their behavior stems from a feeling of self-hate and worthlessness. Empaths see that very clearly and do what they do best—they empathize. This is how the attraction starts. 

Empaths are highly sensitive towards the needs of others and their natural healing abilities quickly kicks in at the start of a relationship with a narcissist. This actually brings about emotional satisfaction to both of them. This fact deepens the attraction and makes things very hard when complications eventually arise.

Narcissists will be patient with empaths in the beginning. They will wait until they have their complete trust and then start manipulating them. Manipulation is in a narcissist's nature. It makes them feel in control. They understand very well that an empath's core beliefs of compassion and love will make them liable to forgive them for unimaginable behavior over and over again, which fuels their control. They turn the tables in every situation and can easily make empaths doubt themselves. 

As an empath, you should know that you can never help someone with a narcissistic personality. They have to help themselves. It's not okay to be in an emotionally abusive relationship.

Did you know that not all empaths are the same? Here's a list of the Different Types of Empaths. You can also check out these tips on How Empaths Can Avoid Compassion Fatigue. 

Written By: Amal Ghali